SeannieWan vs. Captain America

Tuesday, October 23, 2018


First and foremost, let it be known that I do not like the word 'Podcast.' In late 2018, 'Podcast' is too much of a buzzword and creates a feeling of "it is so hip that it is no longer hip" whenever I hear somebody mention the word. Too many people know what a 'Podcast' is and too many people are creating a 'Podcast' of their own for the word 'Podcast' to continue to work as the name or label for the thing that is what the word 'Podcast' is naming or labeling.

Does that not make any sense? Great.

The name 'Podcast' was created for an audio file created by whoever had the means or desire to create an audio file and uploaded to the interweb so that people with the means or desire to listen to said audio file could do so on-demand by streaming the file. The majority means that people with the desire to listen to these audio files were the iPod, which was essentially an iPhone without the phone or messaging or apps, or, as it were, an iPhone but only with the music and the 'Podcasts,' which as pointed out, was named as such for the iPod.

'Podcasts' are more generically known as 'Netcasts,' at least as far as the author(s) of the Wikipedia page for 'Podcasts.' 'Netcasts' is nearly as silly and unfitting a name for 'Podcasts' as 'Podcasts' is. Personally, just to reiterate, I don't like either name.

Thus and so I propose the name 'Streaming Internet Audio Program.' It is certainly longer than 'Podcast' but it isn't nearly as dumb. It sounds less hokey and less amateur. Also, you can shorten 'Streaming Internet Audio Program' to 'I.A.P.,' or 'StrIAP.' 'StrIAP' is pretty stupid, though.

Secondly, I have an idea for a streaming internet audio program. I will share that idea when I've thought about it more and when I am sure that the word 'Podcast' is no longer being used. So, it's really up to the people. 

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Consistency and Follow-Through

Is blogging consistently as difficult as the habits and efforts I regularly engage in? I haven't written in quite a while...

I vividly recall typing "I haven't written in quite a while," or "I have been far too busy to keep up with my writing" 4 or 5 times a year not a very long time ago. Each time I found myself experiencing deja-vu while writing this or another variation of the same statement. I became intimate with the feeling of giving up and I am fairly certain that each time I typed my acknowledgement of failure, it was for a different writing or blogging project. 

Basically, by my guesstimate, I started 4 or 5 writing projects each year with the intention of using the project to develop my thoughts and how I express them, and to entertain or inform a reader. Instead of developing as a writer, I was hit with a wave of unnecessary guilt each time, a feeling of guilt that made me throw my hands in the air and then delete whichever project I had started, all the while swearing off the commitment it requires to find success. 

And here I am again- overcome with the sense of duty to myself and the 2 people that read SeannieWan vs. Captain America; if there are that many readers. It was this silly sense of duty and the unnecessary anxiety, quite identical to what I experienced in the past, that compelled me to review the blog and consider if it is something that I should attempt to continue or if it is a project that will end up being deleted regardless of any post I add (which, as it happens, is likely the post that I am typing now, though I am truly debating if the post will be published).

In the defence of my own personal attack upon myself, I haven't had to write one of the excuses or half-hearted apologies for what feels like 3 years. At one time, most likely more than a decade in the past, these apologies I wrote made me feel slightly better for not being able to commit for follow-through with a project; a project that would doubtless improve my skill set; the skill set for a craft that I have always claimed I wanted to find success in. 

This is the first time in a long time and yet it is the same old story. I can't say whether this is because I am too old and have become too bitter to even consider writing regularly or because I have become wiser and I haven't taken on any projects that would interfere with anything I've already committed my fleeting time and effort to. 

I know that many of the concessions I've typed in a lame final blog post were made because I'd rather view a timeless, perfectly written feature film or television program than I would put in the effort required to make my own project work. I can't say for certain but I want to believe that this time around, viewing a timeless, perfectly written work is not a priority in any way while following through with something I started, for whatever reason, seems like it is the most important thing in the world. 

The reason that I am not conceding this blog, at least the reason tonight, is that time doesn't seem to be on my side any longer. There is a moment of realization in every man's life in which the number of days that are behind him is equal to, or possibly more than, the days that are in front. That isn't to say that I'm sick or dying but that I have reached an age where do-overs and false starts are things best avoided.

With all these bright and sunny thoughts in mind, I have to admit that I haven't written in quite some time... 

I am a grown-ass man with grown-ass responsibilities. These responsibilities include but are in no way limited to a wife; a stepson; a beautiful doggo; another dog but ugly, irritating, and came with the house; a car with a lot of miles; a job that is an easy 50 hours a week spread over a schedule that has no consistency in either start/end times, or even which days I work. As you can see, there are a lot of responsibilities I have that make it difficult to find the time or energy to keep SeannieWan vs. Captain America moving. 

In spite of all the aforementioned responsibilities, there is also the work I do in order to create something of meaning. This work includes the production of my podcast, which has more listeners than I ever thought it would have and requires at times, more effort than I ever thought I could make. More vital to my confidence and self-worth, there is also the work of writing a novel that is 2/3's through a first draft. Finally, and very likely the most difficult of anything I've put down as a difficulty that prevents me from keeping up with SeannieWan vs. Captain America is the ceaseless need to create something of meaning- be it new ideas for Internet Audio Shows, written short stories, or even studio work creating instrumental music. These all run laps around my psyche; they feed me fuel to propel my creativity and imagination forward, but they also function as strong desires that in my darkest, cruellest moments, rest light years away from a time during which I would be able to begin another project. 

Perhaps related, or perhaps not, I find that as an older man my ability to blame people and situations for mine own shortcomings is absolutely stellar; it is on a level that other procrastinators and lazy artists can only dream of reaching. While this may be a slight exaggeration, it is true. Ergo, refusing to delete SeannieWan vs. Captain America on this day is admittedly a small victory and it gives me hope that this blog will deliver to a growing and enthusiastic reader-base the mundane and fruitless details of my life for years to come.             

Friday, September 8, 2017

Autumn Storms

September Rolls Through..

When I was a much younger man, and even when I was a little boy, May was my favorite month of the 12 months that would etch a year of my life away when combined together. May was the month that the best-looking and biggest Hollywood movies were released and in the midst of the Star Wars Prequels, nothing was more important to me than these expensive and generally hollow movies. The month of May also meant the end of school and the culmination of Spring. May meant Memorial Day and Summer Vacation. May meant baseball getting into its groove as the pitchers were as loose as they could get. May meant the possibility of spontaneous road trips and the planning of week long vacations to somewhere that young girls would be wearing bikinis. In fact, now that I'm writing about May, not only is it easy to understand why it was my favorite month but suddenly it is difficult to make the case for my favorite month as a grown-ass man being September. But it is. 

    Most of the things I wrote in the above paragraph are no longer things that are important to me. As a youthful-looking, wise-beyond-his-years adult approaching (albeit slowly) forty, the things that meant so much to me when my priorities and responsibilities were less depressing can't possibly mean much to me now and likely never will again. 

    The Summer tentpole movie? If it isn't part of the MCU, I just don't care and I can't make myself care. I have Netflix and HBO and illegal streaming that allows me to watch any Summer tentpole without having to leave my house, spend at least $30 and sit in close proximity to people that probably have gross, contagious diseases and people that will definitely talk through the movie. Even though the Star Wars Sequels are in full swing, getting to the movie theater to see the competition for the Saga is a waste of time. 

    I graduated college over a decade ago so getting excited about the end of a semester is no longer a feeling I can relate to, or remember. The end of school actually has the opposite effect on me these days. As much as I love my stepson, that he can get on a school bus and go to get an education for the morning and most of the afternoon is something I might love equally. I also love being able to relax with no responsibilities while he is off getting his education. As far as the culmination of Spring, warm and hot weather doesn't mean as much as it used to (obviously nothing to do with that liberal conspiracy of global warming). There weren't as many insects (again this is likely due to anything except global warming) and I didn't get a sunburn on\ my arm via the car window while driving to work (just to reiterate: NOT global warming, just the sun shining brighter with God's love for Donald Trump).

     Instead of all these things that I used to love about May, I have grown to appreciate the opposite about September. I can't sit through a baseball game anymore. I don't have time to sit through one even if I could sit through one. If I was to watch a baseball game, which I wouldn't, but if I would (though to be clear, I wouldn't and won't), I would much rather watch a September baseball game, The September game is a game that means something to the teams involved, as opposed to the 28th of 128 games, which can't possibly mean much.

    Although I no longer go to school, the privilege of watching my stepson and my wife go off to school gives me a feeling of hope. 

    Feeling the weather as it gets cooler from the muggy, choking, stinky heat of Summer (once more, just a natural cycle of hot weather over the last 15-20 years and NOT the hoax that is Global Warming), and stepping out into the evening wearing a long sleeve or a sweat-shirt are physical experiences that makes me feel absolutely alive and wonderful. 

    I can't take a spontaneous road trip without my wife thinking I'm having an affair. I can't plan a vacation unless I can pay for at least three people to go on the vacation, and if I could, it is doubtful that I would enjoy the young girls in bikinis as much with my wife and stepson hanging around.  

    Summer is for young people: kids, teenagers, college kids with no responsibilities and living with the assumption that they are entitled to specific first-world, upper-class income experiences that 90% of the world will never experience. Summer is for bikinis and getting intelligent girls drunk. Summer is for streaking and pool hopping. Summer is for using up fuel and gasoline, so much so that The United States will never be able to quit Big Oil. Summer is for watching the Sunrise drunk and BBQing with co-workers. Summer is for cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend. Summer is for spending a week with your poor mother and doing all you can to ignore her the rest of the season. 

    All of that sounds amazing, really, but if I look myself in the mirror and I really start to plot out how I will escape from my house and my responsibilities. I come up empty. If I consider how I will travel to South Beach with the good car and all my savings without worrying about my family being able to pay the bills, I end up worrying more. If I scheme how I could bring my mobile device on my trip without having to worry about my wife or my mother calling, I start to think that I'd want to be able to get in touch with them anyway. So what's the point? 

    Just as youth is wasted on the young, May and all the sexual shenanigans, all the high-budget mind-numbing motion pictures, all the plans for lunch, and all the parties that feed into youthful youngness are wasted on stupid fucking kids that don't appreciate it at the moment and won't appreciate it later on in life. 
    September is for grown-ass men; men that take care of their responsibilities; men that do the right thing not because it's the right thing but because they are too old to do what they want to do. Grown-ass men enjoy September because the NFL returns and it's something to do on Sundays. Grown-ass men enjoy September because mowing the lawn isn't such a sweat-inducing, uncomfortable experience. Grown-ass men enjoy September because everything gets quiet and people leave them alone just a little- just enough to sit back and remember a time when their favorite time of year was May; a time when getting drunk, getting laid, sleeping late, and eating whatever the fuck they wanted was all life was. 


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Summer's Nearly Over

I guess there is no explanation for my enjoyment of Summer months becoming less with the passing years other than the passing years. Franker loves the summer and I am happy that he does. He deserves to love the Summer because the Summer is meant for little kids like Franker.

Myself, on the other hand, while I love my stepson more than anyone else in the world, I miss those school months- the cool weather, the early evenings, and seeing Franker onto the bus to school knowing that I had a few hours to myself.

I'm writing about Summer because we are entering the second week of August and Summer is drawing to a close. I didn't accomplish nearly any of the things I set out to accomplish, and some of those things were quite important. Oh well...

Another reason I'm writing about the Summer is that my wife got a horrible, atrocious sunburn yesterday afternoon. It looks almost like she has no experience whatsoever with the sun. It looks like she never read an article or heard on any news or information program that the sun is not good for white people, especially if white people aren't wearing sunscreen.

Carolyn will be alright. She will live. It is doubtful that she gets any skin disease from this epic lack of judgment concerning the fireball around which the Earth revolves. Next time she will wear sunscreen.

I am very proud of my wife. She is enrolling in classes for the Fall and she is throwing her name into the hat of volunteer EMT/Ambulance workers.

I am also very proud of Franker and the young man he is becoming.

I am also very proud of my puppy, Daisy, and the young dog she is becoming.

I am not as proud of Pete, the dog that came with the house. I pity him at times and I enjoy his company at others. But right now I want to throw him out the window. If I do I will let you know.


Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The Princes That Were Promised

I am patting myself on the back and if my podcast partner, John Phillip John Kanteen Khantzian were here, I would pat him on the back as well. I really feel like I shouldn't pat myself on the back though- it is perhaps a bit premature to be patting anybody on the back but we have hit a necessary milestone.

We have reached and exceeded, albeit slightly, the listener total we had when we decided to abandon Audioboom. I thought we would have reached this plateau not long after we made the switch to Pinecast but I was wrong. Our total listens increased with the change, but the new episodes that we posted were a far cry from the listens we had with a new episode on Audioboom. This is in no way a reflection on Pinecast. In fact, the mishap is completely my fault... bummerooski.

When changing the home of your RSS Feed- be it a podcast, a blog, or some other stream of media, it is vital to mirror the original feed into the new feed. This allows for a seamless change from one home to the other. What I did was definitely not that. I had every intention to mirror the feed and I knew I had to mirror the feed but... well... maybe I was too excited when I made the switch and forgot to mirror what I needed to mirror?

Either way, we have scratched and clawed and we are back where we need to be. So I give us both a half-pat on the back. And we continue on with the battle. We continue to fight the good fight!

Here is the latest...

Or visit us on the Interweb...

Monday, June 19, 2017

V. Captain America

Re: My Relationship with Captain America

Is it possible for any tax-paying, law-abiding American citizen to have an adversarial relationship with Captain America? If I had access to a time machine, which is wholly and undoubtedly not possible and never will be possible but for the sake of this point, I could go back through American history to moments of overwhelming patriotism and still find 'Real Americans' that would tell Captain America to get bent or call him a Communist. Even the periods of American history in which the entire populace was frothing at the mouth for the blood of our enemies would find an absurdly large number of Americans that would tear him limb from limb and calmly explain why it was patriotic to do so. What that explanation would be is beyond me. I would be the guy telling these animals to cease such brutal violence.

Why is my blog called sWk v. Captain America? I don't really know. I love Captain America but calling this blog 'SeannieWan Teams Up with Captain America' or 'SeannieWan Loves Captain America' sounds like a fan-fiction that I would never want to think about. I feel lousy and almost sick to my stomach having allowed that idea to be birthed into the world. 

I was in 7th grade when I began to choose monthly books to read. Before that, any comic I read was chosen by a combination of how intriguing the cover art was and the availability of the comic- a Batman book at Toys 'R' Us, a Spiderman book at the rest stop convenience store during a family vacation, The Death of Superman as a gift from my father, so on and so forth. In 7th grade, a comic book store opened up the street from where I lived. It was called 'The Asylum' and in addition to new and back issues of every major comic book publisher, the store had trading cards, table-top gaming sets, toys, arcade games and even some pretty lame clothing based on comic book properties. 'The Asylum' was the after-school destination for a wonderful year- year and a half and during that time I spent my newspaper-route income on books that I wanted to read every month and these books were: Ghost Rider, Punisher: War Zone, Daredevil: The Man Without Fear, Spawn, X-Men (the Blue team, not the Uncanny X-Men) and Captain America. 

The colors and the characteristics of Captain America and Steve Rogers were always appealing to me. He wasn't in the same league as Thor or Hulk as far as strength and power... but he was. He wasn't as dark and dangerous as Ghost Rider or Punisher... but at the same time, he was. Cap judged situations and actions but never judged people. Beliefs and patriotic ideals that I'd roll my eyes at as an adult and would bet my bottom dollar that I rolled my eyes at as a youth were somehow cool when I read them in the inner-monologue of Steve Rogers' thought bubbles

If I see some asshole painting his face red, white and blue or running around with an American flag tied up like a cape, I have the urge to vomit. When I see some working-class schlub or the dumb-ass kid of a working-class schlub yelling 'U.S.A.!' and hiding behind being American, I can feel my soul die a little. I feel this way because it's what I call 'bullshit.' The idea of 'America' that the upper-middle-class Long Islanders use as a battle cry doesn't exist. It's equivalent would be the peoples and cultures defeated by the Roman Empire and then living as a part of the Roman Empire enjoying their drainage system and safety so much that they traipse around their city-state yelling 'Fuck yeah Rome!' or 'These Roman colors don't run, bitch!' These peoples were defeated and occupied. Yes, their everyday life was improved tenfold but it would be an empty phony-bologna feeling to feel pride at being a part of the Roman Empire. Americans are lucky to be American and it's wise to appreciate that one is under the protection of the United States federal laws and has the civil liberties that are generally blessed only to Americans. But personally, and I really can't see how anyone would feel differently, I don't think I can comprehend how a feeling of appreciation at where one was born can lead to one saying things like 'Fuck yeah America! Love it or leave it!' Nobody is going to leave it. Everybody loves it. Especially if they are of even a small education and understand what the options to America are. 

A superhero that calls himself Captain America could very well be a self-righteous Long Island American yelling 'America rules!' at other Long Islanders and calling other Long Islanders 'unpatriotic' for not yelling 'America rules!' with them or honking their horn when some jackass waves an American flag they bought at CVS. It could be acceptable that a superhero called Captain America travels around the country making sure that every American loves America because Americans shouldn't be allowed to not love America. And yet, that isn't Steve Rogers. Captain America fights for the ideals and the idea of what America should be. So here is the catch: America is never going to be what America should be. It can't. The moment that America becomes what America should be, America will cease to be. America should be striving to be better in every way. America should be striving to protect all Americans in a way that emboldens the civil liberties that Americans are blessed with. America should be striving to call out to the citizens of the world and welcome them under the blanket of life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

Is that what America is? Possibly. Sometimes maybe, sometimes maybe not. But I know that the moment America stops striving to be what America should be and settles on the idea of 'Fuck yea America! Love it or Leave it!' and settles on the idea of a superhero called Captain America that travels the country punishing those that are not what the 'Fuck yeah America's!' call American, America becomes thoroughly and completely un-American. 

I lost track of what I intended to write about. I guess what I'm trying to say is I call this blog 'SeannieWan V. Captain America' because I believe that Steve Rogers strives to make America the America it should be and he always has a clear and concise idea of what that America is, though that idea is always going to be changing and evolving. I am lucky to be American but that doesn't mean that I am better than non-Americans. It just means non-Americans are not as lucky as I am. When I say 'V. Captain America,' I mean to challenge myself to be the American I should be which is a representation of what America should be, and hopefully what America will never be. 

Either that, or it just sounded cool. 


Thursday, April 6, 2017


This is my personal blog and I will be the first, and quite possibly the only, to admit that one of the last things I have time for is a personal blog. Well, that isn't exactly true. Of all the activities and responsibilities I have in the year 2017, I would have to say that watching Breaking Bad all the way through for a 3rd time or beginning a binge-watch of a 22 minute, single-camera television comedy would be the last thing I have time for... Adopting a cat... that'd be another use of time that I could never justify.

Still, taking on a personal blog and even half-heartedly committing to updating it once in awhile is a ballsy move on my part. It may even be... dumb. Be that as it may, here is my first post and believe you me, the content is definitely a waste of time. Mine and yours.

I have been focusing all my creative energy on my podcasts and I am beginning to feel like I need to spread that energy around more. There has been a good reason to be working this hard on the podcasts. I am having difficulty adjusting my focus because I need to get the shows to a certain place that always seems to be alluding me.

I made a decision a couple months ago to move the RSS feed of the 'A Song of Ice and Fire' fantasy novels/'Game of Thrones' television program podcast that I produce and it hasn't worked out as well as I thought it would. I think I made a mistake when I began to post the show, which is called The Princes That Were Promised by the way, on the new RSS feed while also continuing to post on the old feed. I needed to send the old feed to the new feed so that the subscribers and regular listeners that we had on the old feed would have a seamless transition. There is no question that we have lost listeners with the transition and it is frustrating as #TPTWP had crossed the 100+ listener/subscriber threshold and I really thought we were about to go from walking to running. The RSS feed move has tripped up our stride and now it feels like I am picking up the pace and hustling but unable to get up off the ground. (I am killing it with the running metaphors!)

I am confident #TPTWP will get back to where it was and move far beyond. I put enough work in and our quality is always improving. There are cosmetic things we need to upgrade and they are important- new microphones and better studio conditions namely- but those will come when the funds are there to upgrade them. Our new RSS feed home is Pinecast and their service is superior to our former home, Audioboom. Audioboom was great but Pinecast is cheaper, more efficient, capable of hosting larger files, and capable of hosting multiple podcasts from a single account. As a cherry on top, Pinecast also allows for a website with multiple pages along with the RSS feed (though the domain name wasn't easy to make happen). Oh! The analytics are like night and day. I have a much better idea of our listenership; which is the cause of my frustration in the first place.

Check out the websites and see for yourself.

The Princes That Were Promised

That's Great, Adric

Write to you soon...